I started this blog a few years ago with the intention of it being a bit more lifestyle-focused, and somehow I got off track. I got the impression that it needed to be a business - it needed to be big instead of organically growing. It became more about the big picture instead of the here and now, and that's what I want to remedy.
Here's the thing, I became a mom about nine years ago at the age of 36. I had my second kid when I was 39, and ended my breastfeeding career around 42. When I came out the other side I realized I had somehow landed right at the wall of perimenopause and didn't fully recognize who I'd become.
Around the same time that I became a mom, I began transitioning out of my career as a teacher and athletic trainer. You have to understand that I had been working since I was 22, and many of those years in a position where I was helping others heal. I had learned to divert my needs to help others solve theirs and I found comfort in that. Along with ignoring my own issues by helping others, I chose to numb my feeling with food and had a bit of a binge-purge relationship with food for many years. To be honest, I still have relapses but that's for another time.
Once I officially left the working world shortly before I got pregnant with number 2, I had no idea what to do with myself. I was used to working 50+ hours a week, and staying home with my son was totally foreign to me. I lost my community from work. I lost my identity the one that people came to for help. I was exhausted and frustrated with not being able to meet the needs of the amazing creature who really needed. Now I did meet those, but in my head, at the time I was failing and it was hard. I don't do well with failing. And so I ignored my needs and went in search of someone I could help.
The specifics there aren't that important to this story. What is important is the realization I've recently had. I'm unhappy and I'm a mess. There you go. I put on a good show on social media and in public, but it's a sham. I feel broken and beaten. I feel like there's been a tornado tearing through my life for the past 10 years and I finally came out to survey the destruction. And there's a lot of destruction to sort through.
So now that's why I'm here. To help myself heal by sharing my journey back to the woman I'd like to be. In my 10 years of numbing, I've immersed myself in learning all the things about women's health (well, a lot of them anyway) and coaching other women on how to heal. Now it's time for me to take some of my own advice. And I figure that some of you might understand and benefit from it as well
Some of what I post will be my musings on life and my journey. Being a 46-year-old woman trying to sort her shit out while juggling kids who are still in grade school. I'm sure the posts here in about 5 years are going to be really fun as I navigate menopause and puberty at the same time. You'll want to join in if only for that.
But some of the things I'll share will be research and tools that you can use in your own midlife struggles - regardless of where you are as a mom. Things to help balance our hormones, and understanding why they're going nuts. Suggestions for weight maintenance. Help to prevent all of these aches and pains that are starting to set in. And hopefully, some inspiration for you to also rediscover who you are deep inside.
I know that I'm going to need support in this. I have some local friends, but I'd love to have a global community of women where we can all just be real and say "I get it". I want to do this journey as organic as possible, meaning that I'm done with the miracle solutions and just want something simple the works and I don't have to think about it because I'm over thinking. I just can't anymore. So if you're over it to and looking for some support of living your life a bit more authentically and simple, then please join in. If Brene Brown is one of your superheroes, then you've found a friend in me.
Our community will live off Facebook I think. I'm no longer getting healing vibes from Facebook and frankly I end my scrolling sessions with more anxiety than peace. We'll be meeting over on my Mighty Networks community because I can house it all there and feel safe and supported. I hope you'll join me there and we can walk along this path together. Anyway, you're always welcome to simply comment on the posts and connect that way.
So there you go. I'm ready for a change. I'm staring down 50 and I want this next season to be fabulous instead of frantic. I think it can be.