Another Year Gone
Well, today is my birthday. I usually get pretty melancholy on my birthday and reflective. Almost mourning the loss of another year - because I often feel like I've wasted it. And I probably have in some ways. But this year has been a little different. This year I'm looking forward instead.
Today I turn 46. I'm closer to 50 now that 40, and that means it's time to get my act in gear and finally reclaim that person who I feel I am. I started this morning by making a list of everything that I wanted to achieve in the next year. Of course, the list was filled with lose weight and some of those things. But I also added that I wanted to hike and climb at least once a week over the next year. And I wanted to basically transform myself to allow my physical being and my mindset to be more in alignment.
One of the things I did today was going to my therapist. It was on the schedule and I'm so glad that I kept that appointment instead of hiding out at home like I really wanted to do. I'm glad because she brought up some wonderful insight into how to proceed in this midlife makeover idea that I've been mulling over. She's 100% supportive of me wanted to get outside and hike more - we've been talking a lot about my lost identity and I think this is key. But we talked about some other measurement factors to my transformation outside of my physical appearance. It's so funny to hear your own advice spoken back to you, but some times you need to sit back and receive instead of giving it out. We talked about assessing the change in how my body feels - physically and mentally. What foods it's asking for because of increased movement. How my attitude changes because of these changes. And the response of my muscles from the work and not the scale. We chatted about my need to finally let self-care in the form of this hiking be a priority since I tend to put everyone else first. How by putting myself first I'm ensuring that my family's needs are also being taken care of, because if I continue down this path then I cannot be the mom I want to be for my kids. And considering that I'll be in my 50s when they are teenagers, I have to maintain my health for them. I have to maintain my health for my future grandchildren and my husband. I can't be worried anymore about letting them down because of needing to take care of my own needs, because this self-care directly impacts their lives. What a huge "ah-hah" moment for me.
Yes, it's going to be uncomfortable for me because I am such an introvert, but I'll find a way. I can rise up when needed, and this is definitely a need. I think that 46 is going to be pretty amazing if I get out of my own way and let this transformation take place. I have to stop tearing myself down and start building myself up. One day at a time, as it is. That first step on the journey and all. Who else has a catchy quote about this? Share below as a gift to me on my birthday.